Bumps and Babies

Many lengths of the room to bookcase and back, finally take their toll

I have to admit being trepidatious…if that is even a word. Thursdays happen to be Bumps and Babies day. Nicole has established herself at the local group in Hanslope in past months, and now expects me to carry the baton. I managed to make my excuses last week, but there’s no going back now. Today is weigh-in day, and to get our official blob on the growth line in Gracie’s Red Book, I need to make an appearance. The plan is to get there early so that once in place, everyone else will have to introduce themselves to me as they come it. 

It was a good plan. But Grace fell asleep, and I stepped into the top and tail bowl, thereby making us 10 minutes late, by which time the place was heaving and the only bit I could fit into was a distant corner, where I could ignore everybody and be ignored.  For anybody who has never had children or been to one of these groups…me for example…cannot begin to appreciate the cacophony and chaos that fills the air. One child hits another on the head with a small metal pan. A second grabs my chin and pulls my beard before I’d even registered I was under attack. Another crawls off over the floor between crowds of legs, possibly never to be seen again. Until a bite is take out of an ankle at least. I suppose I should be grateful that I can divert my eyes from Grace for 10 seconds without worrying about the subsequent trail of devastation that may ensue. I suspect I should not get used to this…Grace’s time will shortly come no doubt. 

After a while Grace was recognised by the other mums though (I was very much the odd one out….one out of about 20+ ) and I was slowly accepted into the wider group. I think this was in part due to the admiration of the speed of my dressing and undressing. Of Grace. The nurse reckoned I was more than a match for most of the room. I think she was being harsh… Anyway, apparently next week we are working on Treasure Boxes and a wall display. Welcome to my brave new world.

Don’t touch the camera….DON’T TOUCH THE CAMERA!!!


I didn’t get back until noon…if nothing else, B&B burns up a whole morning and leaves Grace exhausted and ready to feed well and then sleep.  To be fair, this is pretty much the state that daddy is left in too. However, neither of us could actually fall asleep despite both having been up at 4.45am. Mind you, only one of us had been up since 4.45am.  A nectarine and bottle of milk later and I thought we’d cracked it, but no.  Had to resort to wheeling the pram around the dining room to do the business.


By the time Grace had rewoken, the sun was out and I felt we needed to venture out to get some vitamin D on board. Decided that we should venture further afield. Further decided that the canal seemed a good idea. The canal that runs by the newly refurbished pub down the road. Purely coincidentally you understand.  Annnyway. We walked, we soaked up some rays, we admired the countryside…and before returning from whence we came, we decided to sample the hostelry. There was actually a bit of a risk to this, in that I’d completely forgotten to bring the changing bag. Or a toy. Or any teething gel. Basically I was playing Russian Roulette …. Grace may be presently calm and relaxed, but she could go off at any moment. Thankfully she didn’t and a whole pint was enjoyed. 

Grace struggles to hide her feelings about the non milk liquid Daddy is enjoying

Always competitve, I have now mapped our Sleep Walk, and set a PB of 45.12mins

Having returned from our walk, I was conscious Grace was now due her late afternoon nap. So, straight back out again onto the Sleep Walk around the village in the pram. It may be cheating….I can’t rely on always having the pram at hand to get Grace snoozing…but if it works, I’m happy to take the risk. 45 minutes later, fully snoozed, Grace is back, happy, being fed, and ready for her book and bath. Life is good. For both of us.

The Days Stats:
Music Education:  How Soon Is Now / What Difference Does it Make – The Smiths

Distance walked: 2.31 miles around the village

Calories Burned Walking: 300

Pints of Beer Drunk: 1

Calories Absorbed Drinking: 180…120 in the bank!

Minutes snoozed: None

Work emails ignored: Not enough – need to be stronger



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